For me, future has always doomed my eyes. The more I wanted to spray the artificial rose fragrance into it, the more nasty it smelled. The urge of this infinite thirst and need, piling up on me like the procrastinator’s list of ‘Things to do’, has shown me that it is not the way to find the truth about what humanity holds. The tree starts with a seed and grows into different branches and then leaves appear. After that, the beautiful flowers and fruits paint the green canvas into Dali’s ‘Persistence of Memory’, Van Gogh’s ‘Starry Night’, and Monet’s ‘Nimphee’. And then everything repeats.
With a faint hope in the future, I started defining that present is what it takes for a life to accelerate. I started to train it and discipline it to catch the moving trend of all human beings. But, the more I try to hold on to it, the faster it was sliding off of my hands. Just like sand. And all this just pushed me towards the past to decelerate more. The rush of all living beings was too much for me to handle and I started to run low on spiritual energy from my own race.
Like a rock sliding down the hill from the top of the mountain, colliding with several other pointed, strong and sturdy stones, I also wished to stop against the pull of gravity and remain at rest before the motion created more unwanted friction. But again, there is this one single motion of the universe that always gets me. Until I levitate in the void, I shall always be moving either forward or backward. The direction still seems to be a mystery box so I still have to figure out which way is forward and which way is backward.
The rejection of change from different tribes all over the world makes me sad sometimes. It is almost like they are immune to the good vibe. Hundred years old wars are still in action. It seems like the gun barrels and our vocal cords never got their share of rest. I have been holding on to the ray of light like a passenger on a bus and patiently waiting for my turn to get off. I want to get off before the light eliminates itself with a heavy hit on something opaque in the way. That is inevitable. But, I wonder if this want to keep breathing is our destiny or the choices that we make. The motion has always given me a nauseating feeling. Rest has always helped me heal my wounds in the past, present and future. It is interesting how rest has survived in all forms of time, just like piles of photographs for every moment of time and yet everything sits on a jet plane trying to move fast from time in time towards time. I don’t know what is the rush about when you don’t know what is the direction you are heading?
Homo sapiens have neither satisfied their culture’s intelligence, nor they have cared to be in a level together with the wild animals. They love to live in their own pseudo world that they have created blocking all the access from the outside. Now tell me, if there is a war going on right outside your house, how safe do you feel inside your little 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom appartment? They are passively waiting but for what? I have no clue. They haven’t forgotten to increase their number though. For what? I have no clue. Interestingly, human beings take care of (murder) their own over populated mass and sometimes nature helps them to do that as well. Today, human beings are just a bunch of thunder storms in the inside and on the outside. I am waiting for them to be a silent lake. If two motions are equal but are in opposite direction and if they collide, they just trace their direction from where they came. So how could it be silent? I guess they have to move side by side so that the relative motion of the bodies or spirits are equal. At least they will be silent among themselves. Isn’t it?
Tracing what we know has always been a firm ground of what’s the next ground we have to step in. So look at the past and realize soon about your next step and ‘for what?’. I can only provide you with such vague questions that might thrust you to think for the answers. But always realize, it’s the questions that are important not the answers. Answers are mere reflection of your past or the bleak images of your past. If you want to answer, try to vision the entire humanity in it. Try to scale entire world in it.
For some, sorry that I took your precious time away from you. For others, Thank you for your precious time.